...in a creepy meat suit...

i found this card while cleaning my room the other day and it's amazing. i am always so impressed with my the makers creative abilities. also i think i look rather tough as well.

the moustache brothers

the moustache brothers - sketch comedy alive and well in burma.

toronto - in a basement on oakwood - is where i am now for 6 more days. i like toronto.... is that okay to say?

bbc 6 - i will never stop listening to - why must russell brand taunt me by calling noel gallagher every week? and how can i be obsessed with a man for over ten years now?

is that a gun in your pocket : the truth about female power in hollywood - the book i can't stop reading. it's amazing and nspiring and disasterously relatable and depressing.

flags - everywhere - it's world cup so no one cares about game 7 of the stanley cup. that's pretty cool.
"as long as some cracker team doesn't win i'll be happy," giant white guy at mel's.

my favorite football hooligan

chatting up tips by russell brand

His six-point plan for success with the ladies - and that includes world-famous supermodels...

1 Offer An Alternative: seduction is all about offering an alternative. All of us are trying to escape from tedium. Women want adventure -that's my No.1 assumption.

If you read poetry, see paintings and listen to music, they reinforce ideas of romance, adventure and intrigue. If you can appear to be these things, then since the dawn of time there's been a global marketing campaign supporting what you're saying.

2 Know Your Brand Identity: Be in tune with your USP (unique selling point). For me, the idea of a gauche philandering adventurer works quite well. I have the hair of a gauche philandering adventurer, the patter of a gauche philandering adventurer and offer gauche philandering adventures. The brand is consistent.

3 Avoid Singles Bars And Clubs: Places where your attendance is an admission of failure as a human being cannot be good. It's better to strike in the street, or at the bus stop, or perhaps near a hedge.

4 Never Be Too Blunt: To go up to a girl and say, "Would you like an orgasm?" is the Hiroshima of seduction. What you need, first of all, is - at most - a Falklands.

5 Be Post-modern: In this post- modern era everyone knows what's going on, so say things like, "I'd like to chat you up. I'm chatting you up now. Are you enjoying this chatting-up?" Reference the process.

6 Confidence Trick: Know what you are and what you want. See the beauty in other people. It is alluring for women that their beauty is appreciated - but don't be afraid of their beauty. We're all just lumps of nature, wandering around, waiting to die...

*THEY WORKED ON KATE MOSS!

sunday afternoon

I sat down ready to enjoy russell brand's latest radio broadcast on bbc 6. i had a cuppa tea and was ready to be quite anglophilic and suddenly 10 minutes into the show the power goes off. there i am with my a hot - tea in the grey dark of this gloomy afternoon.
i had the next three hours all planned out and it was shot like that. it does not take much to send me in to a funk that has me yelling "fuck you radio, fuck you." until the power comes on.
I did walk around the neighbourhood and the power was out all the way down to quinpool and all I really wanted was a hamburger and all the restaurants were closed.
So when the lights came on i made myself a ham and cheese bagelwich and enjoyed that while listening to russell brand.


WHEN WILL IT BE NICE OUT????!!!!
I am getting too use to communicate with people thru the internet. It's doin' me 'ead in. Too far? Yeah.

the show biz show

putting the gay back into litigation

This has been my summer so far.
1 finding things to sell to make money
2 pretending to look for a job
3 watching the larry sanders show

So last night I finished the last season of the larry sanders show. and the show is amazing and frustrating. I love the writing and the amazingly talented cast. David Duchovny having a man crush on Larry was brilliant and Jon Stewart being Larry's rival. Bob Odenkirk playing the agent and Sarah Silverman and Mary Lynn Rajskub - fuck so good.
What drove me insane about the show is that it broke all these sitcom rules but than still did not maintain any continuity. Which was one of the best things about Arrested Development, aside from it being so goddam funny and so on. So one episode would be like the one where beverly gets pregnant and than that story line does not go into any other episode. It is never talked about again. And than the second last episode in season 6 has got to be one of my favorite episodes in American Television history. Fer real, so much so I had to screen capture the best part and blog it. God i am lame. You think people would do better things with technology. Nope.

Phil you are my favorite character now. way to be homophobic and than get drunk and make out with the gay guy at work.
"You are ridiculous, I am hilarious!"

oooh la la... she came to my show just hear about my day

will it ever stop raining?
will i ever get a job?
will i ever make it to a bar before last call?